Choosing Your Ninongs & Ninangs: A Modern Filipino Guide
Selecting your Ninongs and Ninangs is a cherished Filipino tradition, deeply rooted in guidance and love, not just gift-giving.
CloudInvitesยท
ยท
6 min read
Ah, the journey to 'I do'! As you tick off items on your wedding checklist, one of the most heartwarming โ and sometimes challenging โ decisions comes into play: choosing your Principal Sponsors, or what we lovingly call our Ninongs and Ninangs. This isn't just about filling seats; it's about inviting beloved figures into a pivotal role, not just for your wedding day, but for your marriage ahead. It's a special moment that makes the kilig feel even more real!
The Heart of the Matter: Understanding Your Ninongs & Ninangs
In Filipino culture, Ninongs and Ninangs are so much more than mere witnesses to your marriage contract. They are chosen mentors, spiritual guides, and extensions of your family who will offer wisdom and support throughout your married life.
Spiritual & Traditional Roles
Traditionally, Principal Sponsors are seen as pillars of strength and guidance. They are often couples who embody the values you wish to uphold in your own marriage โ stable, loving, and God-fearing.
- Spiritual Guidance: They are expected to pray for your union and offer advice rooted in faith.
- Marital Mentors: Having successfully navigated their own marriages, they serve as role models you can turn to in times of joy and challenge.
- Extended Family: They become honorary aunts and uncles, deepening your family ties and expanding your support system.
Legal & Practical Roles
Beyond the spiritual, Ninongs and Ninangs also play a crucial legal role in the Philippines.
- Marriage Contract Witnesses: They are the official witnesses who sign your marriage certificate, making your union legally binding.
- Moral Support: On your wedding day, their presence signifies their blessing and commitment to your journey.
- Practical Advice: From navigating family dynamics to financial tips, many Ninongs and Ninangs continue to offer invaluable practical guidance.
Planner's tip: While some may have a preference for married couples, for Catholic weddings, the Church typically only requires that individual sponsors be practicing Catholics of good standing. For civil weddings, the requirements are even more relaxed, focusing solely on their role as legal witnesses.
Who to Choose? Criteria for Your Principal Sponsors
This is often where couples feel the most pressure. Remember, the essence of choosing your Ninongs and Ninangs isn't about who can give the grandest gift (the 'regalo') or who holds the highest position in society. It's about genuine connection and lifelong mentorship.
Mentors, Not Just Money
Focus on individuals or couples who have genuinely impacted your life, who you admire, and who you can envision turning to for advice years down the road.
- Strong Relationships: Choose people with whom you have an established, meaningful relationship.
- Positive Role Models: Look for individuals or couples who exemplify the kind of marriage and life you aspire to have.
- Supportive & Present: Select those who will actively participate in your life, not just on your wedding day, but throughout your marriage.
- Good Values: Their moral compass and life principles should align with yours.
Family & Friend Dynamics
It's common to choose a mix of family members (favorite titos and titas, older cousins) and close family friends. Don't be afraid to break from tradition if it means choosing people who truly resonate with you as a couple.
Watch out: Avoid choosing someone purely out of obligation or because you expect a large monetary gift. This can lead to awkwardness and misses the true spirit of the role. Your Principal Sponsors are chosen for their character and relationship, not their wallet.
The "Ask": Pamamanhikan, Protocol & Gifts
Once you've thoughtfully decided on your list, the next step is making "the ask." This is a beautiful opportunity to honor them and express your appreciation.
Scheduling the Visit
The traditional way to ask someone to be your Ninong or Ninang is to visit them in person, often at their home, during a dedicated time. This shows respect and sincerity.
- Schedule Ahead: Call or message to set a specific date and time for a visit, clearly stating your intention (e.g., "We'd love to visit you to ask something very important about our upcoming wedding.").
- Go Together: As a couple, visit them. This reinforces that this is a joint decision and a shared journey.
- Express Your Heartfelt Request: Clearly and sincerely explain why you've chosen them and what their role means to you.
- Give Them Time: Allow them a moment to absorb the request and respond. It's rare for a chosen sponsor to decline, but it does happen (more on that later!).
Thoughtful Gifts (Regalo)
While not strictly required, bringing a small, thoughtful gift (a 'regalo') during your visit is a lovely gesture of respect and appreciation.
- Homemade Delights: A freshly baked cake, cookies, or a specialty dish.
- Local Delicacies: Pasalubong from a recent trip, or a gourmet item unique to your area.
- Personalized Items: Something that reflects their interests or a small token with your names or wedding date.
- Handwritten Card: Always accompany any gift with a heartfelt, handwritten card expressing your gratitude.
Dear Tito Ben and Tita Lisa, It would mean the world to us if you would honor us by being our Ninong and Ninang as we begin our married life. Your loving example and wise counsel have always inspired us, and we truly look up to your beautiful marriage. We hope you'll say yes! Love always, [Your Names]Choosing your Ninongs and Ninangs is about inviting beloved figures into a pivotal role, not just for your wedding day, but for your marriage ahead.โ CloudInvites
Answering Your Anxieties: Ninong & Ninang FAQs
It's completely normal to have questions and even a little anxiety when it comes to this important decision. Here are some common concerns we hear:
How many pairs should we have?
There's no strict rule! Traditionally, Catholic weddings might have between 2 to 10 pairs. For civil weddings, you typically need at least two witnesses, but many couples choose more to honor important people in their lives. The number truly depends on your preference, budget, and the size of your wedding. Remember, your Principal Sponsors are distinct from your wedding entourage (cord, veil, coin, candle sponsors).
- Intimate Wedding: 2-4 pairs
- Mid-size Wedding: 5-8 pairs
- Grand Wedding: 9-12+ pairs
What if someone declines?
While rare, it can happen. Life sometimes gets in the way, or they might feel they can't fulfill the role adequately. Handle it with grace and understanding. Have a "Plan B" list of potential sponsors, but don't immediately ask them if your first choice declines. Take a moment, then approach your next choice with the same sincerity.
Good to know: It's absolutely okay if someone declines. It doesn't diminish your relationship. The right people will be there to support you.
Should we pay for their attire?
Generally, no. Unlike the bridal party where couples sometimes cover or contribute to attire, Principal Sponsors are usually expected to shoulder their own outfits. However, it's polite to provide them with a color palette or style guide (e.g., "formal Filipiniana" or "earth tones") to ensure they fit in with your wedding's aesthetic. Clearly communicate your preferences well in advance.
Do they need to be married?
For Catholic weddings, a Ninong and Ninang do not necessarily need to be a married couple themselves, although many couples prefer to choose married pairs for their example of a lasting union. Individual sponsors simply need to be of legal age and practicing Catholics. For civil ceremonies, anyone of legal age can serve as a witness, married or not.
Your Ninongs and Ninangs are more than just witnesses; they're your lifelong mentors in love.Click to tweet
Beyond the Big Day: Continuing the Relationship
The relationship with your Ninongs and Ninangs extends far beyond the wedding day itself. They are there to offer continuous support, wisdom, and love as you navigate the beautiful complexities of married life. Make an effort to stay in touch, visit them, and celebrate milestones together.
Speaking of support, did you know CloudInvites has a special feature designed to make it even easier for your Ninongs and Ninangs to show their love and support right from the start? Many couples worry about wedding costs (you can explore more about that here!). With CloudInvites, your godparents can easily gift you a premium digital wedding plan, helping you create a beautiful, personalized wedding website and digital invitations without adding to your own expenses. It's a modern way for them to contribute meaningfully, making your planning journey smoother and stress-free.
In a nutshell:
- Choose Principal Sponsors for their mentorship and relationship, not just potential gifts.
- Understand their traditional, spiritual, and legal roles.
- Make "the ask" personal, respectful, and sincere, ideally with a thoughtful gift.
- Don't be afraid to ask common questions โ it's your wedding, your choices!
- Remember their role is for life, not just the wedding day.
Frequently asked questions
What exactly do Ninongs and Ninangs do in a Filipino wedding? +
They are more than just witnesses; they serve as spiritual guides, marital mentors, and honorary family members. They sign your marriage certificate, making your union legally binding, and offer lifelong support and wisdom to your union.
How do we choose our Ninongs and Ninangs? Should we pick rich relatives? +
Focus on genuine connection and mentorship, not wealth or social status. Choose individuals or couples who are positive role models, have strong relationships with you, and whose values align with yours for a lasting marriage.
Is there a traditional way to ask people to be our Principal Sponsors? +
Yes, the traditional way is to visit them in person, often at their home, as a couple. This shows respect and sincerity, allowing you to heartfeltly explain why you've chosen them for this significant role.
Do we need to give our Ninongs and Ninangs gifts when we ask them? +
While not strictly required, bringing a small, thoughtful gift, or "regalo," is a lovely gesture of appreciation. A handwritten card expressing your gratitude should always accompany any token.
How many Ninongs and Ninangs should we have for our wedding? +
There's no strict limit! Catholic weddings often have 2 to 10 pairs, while civil ceremonies require at least two witnesses. The number truly depends on your preference and the size of your wedding, separate from your other entourage members.
Are we expected to pay for our Ninongs and Ninangs' wedding outfits? +
Generally, no, Principal Sponsors are expected to cover their own attire. However, it's very helpful and polite to provide them with a suggested color palette or style guide to ensure they complement your wedding's aesthetic.
